


Two Hearts

by NowThatsDedication



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Romance, don't want to give too much away
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-20
Updated: 2016-04-24
Packaged: 2018-05-27 20:13:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6298618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NowThatsDedication/pseuds/NowThatsDedication
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eventually, this story will allow you to choose from multiple endings. </p><p>Whether you prefer Fili or Kili or both, there'll be a conclusion for you. Choices must be made, hearts will be broken.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Just a Kiss

**Author's Note:**

> In which Kíli ruins everything

“Kíli, how do you always manage to look like you crawled out of a troll cave?”

You could not help but throw a friendly insult his way; he certainly has no qualms about giving them to you. His constant teasing borders between cute and obnoxious.

His favorite prank? Stepping on the hem of your dress and causing you to nearly stumble. When it happens, you huff and cross your arms until he releases, his laughter growing behind you. “Kíli, grow up!” you shout. “If I grow any taller, I will not fit through the doors!” And you always roll your eyes, “Fool….”

“It takes great skill,” he smirks and takes a seat next to you on the riverbank, where you are basking in the early spring weather.

You seem to be bumping into Kíli more and more frequently, or rather, he has been bumping into you.

“What brings you out here to interrupt my peaceful afternoon?” He understands your sarcasm, it is the language you speak to each other.

“Giving you some much needed company!”

“More like unwanted pestering.”

“Oh, nonsense. You enjoy it. Ah, I love hearing the sound of your voice. It is like a song...a lovely, yet scathing, song…” He stretches out, folds his arms under his head, and looks up at the sky. “Huh? What are you looking at?”

You had not realized you were staring. “Your hair! It...it irks me! And I won't even comment on that,” you point at his mud-splattered tunic.

“I apologize for my offensive appearance. We cannot all look as perfect as you,” Kíli mocks. He kicks his foot into the river and splashes cold water on you. “Oops!”

“Stop, or I will throw you in there!” You protest, trying, and failing, to sound serious.

“You are not strong enough to!”

“You want to test me?”

“Nah, I will take your word for it.”

You want to get back at him, annoy him like he does to you.

“Let me fix your hair, at least. Maybe it will stay put with some braids-”

“No thank you!”

“Why do you have such an aversion to braids?”

“I like to be free and loose, no restrictions,” he winks.

“Fíli likes them.”

“He _would_.”

You sense hostility in his voice, “Kíli, stop. Just one braid? Please?”

“Oh, alright, alright! Since you said ‘please’ so politely, I cannot resist.”

“It will look nice, I promise.”

“Only ONE. But I warn you...if you pull too hard...I may bite.”

“Sure, Kíli” you dismiss him. Can’t he be serious for just five minutes?

You grab a lock of hair from the side of his face and pick pieces of grass out. “What were you doing? Rolling in the fields?”

“Oww, ow!” Stop!”

“I am just trying to untangle it! I have not even started-”

“You are so rough!” He whimpers. “I would have never expected a gentle soul like you could do so much damage!”

“Damage! Ha! Quit whining, or I will do REAL damage.” He squirms and stifles a laugh. The movement causes your hands to shake.

“Sit still! Do you know how to?”

Kíli’s lips press against your arm. His mouth opens slowly, his eyes fix on you.

“Kíli, I swear, if you bite me, I will rip your hair out.”

His breath quickens against your skin as he closes his mouth with a gentle defiance.

“Very mature,” you sigh and tug on his hair. In response, he clamps his lips down in a kiss, moving up your arm with quick pecks.

“What was that?”

“I could not bear to hurt you,” he smiles, “even though you are hurting me. Greatly.”

“Well, I am almost finished,” you bend in closer to correct what he disrupted with his childish actions.

Without warning, he turns to you, the half-finished braid slipping from your hand. Before you can react, his mouth meets yours. Startled, you return the kiss. It is passionate, yet soft; urgent yet slow. Unwelcome and wanted. A contradiction, just like Kíli himself.

 _What am I doing? What am I doing?_ echoes within until it is silenced by the chills spreading over you. His fingers graze your cheek. You do not stop, you cannot.

Now his tongue slips in, encircling yours, and you answer back. Your head is spinning. It should not be. None of this should be.  _No no no_! You finally pull away, breathless.

“Kíli!”

His eyes are wide with surprise, almost as wide as yours. “Kíli...w-what are you doing?”

“I don’t know,” he whispers.

“Why did you do that? It is not funny!

“It was not supposed to be. But you-”

“How could you!”

“Did I do something wrong?”

“Wrong? WRONG?!” You want to scream, loud enough for him to understand. “I AM COURTING YOUR BROTHER!”

He seemed to have forgotten that little fact. Or chose to ignore it.

“No, it is beyond that...it is serious. You KNOW that! And you do not see anything WRONG?!

“It was just a kiss,” he mumbles, like a scolded child. “I did not mean-”

“I know very well what you meant. Fíli told me once that you always want what he has. It is a cause of contention between you...and you would do this just to spite him?”

“No! That is not why I…” he pauses, then struggles to explain, “I do often want what he has...maybe I want to be like him...but that is not why…”

“Then why? Is this another joke to you?”

“I cannot control what my heart wants.”

“Kíli! No!” You jump up, ready to turn your back and run. How dare he? “Do not speak another word.”

How could you look at him now, knowing how he felt? How do you keep this from Fíli?

“Don’t go, wait,” he asks with a rare, serious tone. He reaches for your shoulder, a compassionate touch full of concern. “Let us forget about it. Pretend it never happened.”

“It did happen. You cannot take it back now. I KNOW. Everytime you look at me...what am I supposed to do? You betrayed our friendship, my trust!”

His eyes are too intense to gaze into for long. You know what it is like to be lost in someone's eyes, you do so every day - but his - they are a maze with no path out. You have to look away.

“But nothing has changed, it is only-”

“To know you have...feelings for me...it changes everything!”

“I am sorry,” he lowers his head in shame, “I did not mean to hurt you.”

“Well, you DID. And you are hurting Fíli-”

“Don’t tell him, please,” he pleads, with a tremble in his voice.

“I would never. I am not stupid. I don’t want to see you killed.”

“I ruin everything.” He looks pathetic with his slumped shoulders and watery eyes. You pity him. He deserves love and happiness, which you cannot provide.

“One day you will find what you want. And it is not me. It cannot be. I love Fíli. You need to respect that.” You hesitate, but it must be said: “Perhaps it is best you stay away.”

You run, fleeing this unfortunate incident. And him. When you are far enough away, you glance behind and watch him kick at the ground and shake the braid out of his hair.

Unwillingly, you now possess both of their hearts.

****

You are on edge since it happened, pacing and worrying about the repercussions of Kíli’s impulsive actions. Occasionally, a twinge of sympathy overcomes you. It must be hard to keep a feeling like that inside, to love someone you know you cannot have. No – he does not love you. He is mistaken and flighty and will get over it, now that you set him straight.

You pore over every previous interaction, making sure you did not give him the wrong impression. No, it was only friendship. His fault. But now your problem.

How is he handling it, you wonder. Kíli’s mood can turn dark, never towards you, but it can go from smiles to scowls in a matter of seconds. It is intriguing. Fíli is always…Fíli. But Kíli is a surprise. That kiss certainly was a surprise. Exciting, tempting...forbidden.

You try your best to wipe away the memory of his sad eyes and hungry mouth but you can still taste him. Damn him! And damn him for making you feel confused! No, not confused – curious. Curious, like touching a flame. After the first time, you learn to avoid the heat. But part of you wants to play with fire. The thrill is intoxicating.

No. Never!

****

“How is my love?” Fíli cups your face in his hands. “How has your day been, dear?”

“Much better, now that you are here.” It is true; his smile brightens your world and lifts your spirits. And it is especially needed today.

“Likewise,” he leans in for a long kiss - lovely, comforting...familiar.

You notice him scanning your face with a perplexed expression. “Something is different.”

How does he know?! You flash a nervous smile, “Wh-what?”

“Ah, I know what it is. You look exceptionally beautiful today,” he praises, almost blushing. “More so than yesterday.”

“Oh!” you sigh in relief, “It must be the fresh air.”

“You were outside? Did you happen to see Kíli? I was supposed to meet him but he is not in the usual places.”

“No, not recently.” You hate to lie to him. But he can never learn of what happened by the river.

“He is scatterbrained at times. I would love to know what is going through his head.”

You do know - and you wish you did not have this knowledge.

“Speaking of Kíli,” you falter, “I think you should speak to him.”

“What for? Has he been causing trouble?” Fíli lets out an uncertain laugh.

“Uhh, no, but he could use some…confidence?”

“I think he has plenty of that. Too much, maybe.”

You do not disagree.

“You know he looks up to you. Maybe remind him of his good qualities and skills.”

“I suppose I could…”

“Do not say it was my suggestion.”

“I try to tell him but he rarely listens. But he could use it, I agree.”

You feel slightly better, knowing you did your part to help assuage Kíli’s hurt pride.

“You are a good brother.”

“And you are a good woman.” He tightens his grip around your waist.

No, you are not. Holding onto two hearts is hard work.

“Fíli, you know I love you more than anything.”

“Yes, and _you_ know I feel the same. But I like being reminded, every day, every moment.”

“So do I.”

It was just a kiss...

 

 


	2. Reunion and Union

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Fíli makes promises.

“Fíli, no! Are you mad?”

It is almost humorous, darkly so, how quickly serious problems can be replaced with more, actually serious, problems. A week of avoiding Kíli, the stress of keeping his secret, now pales in comparison to matters of life or death.

“Erebor?!” Why? Why now, what-”

Fíli stares back at you, wide eyed, in disbelief. In offense? “This is what I _have_ to do. My obligation, my claim. I thought you would understand.” He searches your face for reassurance, or acceptance, perhaps.

“I do,” you lie. If only you could understand the burden he faces as an heir to a lost throne, yet you never can. “But it is dangerous and...I thought we-”

“None of that, now,” he notices your tears, wipes them away with his thumb. “No crying.”

Wasn’t love more important than honor and kingdoms and treasure? That is what you always dreamed, what you wanted to believe.

“When I make it there, we will know we can survive any hardship. It will make us stronger.”

“What if-”

“Shhh, no what ifs. I promise. We will be together again. In Erebor! And I’ll be able to give you anything your heart desires. Everything you deserve.”

“You know I don't care about that! I just want you.” You lace your fingers in between his.

Fíli sighs and nods in agreement. “Just trust me. It will be alright,” his lips press against your ear.

“I believe you, but I wish I had half your strength and courage.”

“I will give you mine,” he offers.

“No, you need it more,” you suppress the sobs caught in your throat, fight them down to sound composed. But you are not.

“What I need is you.”  
  
You welcome his quiet passion. It washes over you, temporarily chasing the fears away. Every touch is an apology, because he cannot be just Fíli, and he cannot be only yours. Not entirely. But for a short time, he is. Completely. Moments when he stares into your eyes as if there is nothing else in the entire world. When he loses himself in you, whimpering out your name into your hair. Vulnerable. Yours.

You savor all of it, not knowing when you will be able to again.

****

“This is not a goodbye, remember?” Fíli is dressed for travel, armed for war, prepared for anything. Except parting.

“Then what is it?” You cannot help but notice his eyes darting away from yours.

“A going away party!” Kíli interrupts your not-goodbyes, grinning like nothing ever happened. As if he did not profess his love for you, as if he and his brother are not leaving their lives behind to face uncertainty and peril.

“Don’t worry, I will take good care of him for you,” he slaps Fíli on the back and winks at you. This is no time for light-heartedness, and his actions are agitating. You don't understand him. Should you?

“Take care, Kíli. Mind your brother.”

“If I had a coin for every time I heard that, I could fill up Erebor.”

“Well, it is good advice.” You look over at Fíli. “Keep an eye on him.”

“Of course. Get moving Kíli, we are already late.”

“And you,” Kíli asks, with the most sincerity you have ever witnessed from him, “take care, as well.” He leaves you with Fíli and your creeping tears.

“Goodb- I mean…I will see you at the mountain.” He hates to see you cry, you remind yourself. Don't let him leave with that memory.

“You will.” You share one last kiss to hold you until then.

You do believe him, as hopeless as it seems, because his promises are as strong as the blades he carries.

He walks away and does not look back. It is as hard for him as it is for you, maybe harder, but he will not show it.

Two hearts that belong to you set off, and one broken one stays behind.

****

Not a moment passes where you don’t think of him. You write him letters that you cannot send; he will receive them when you reunite. If they survive that long – they are already falling apart from your tears, crumbling at the touch. Like you.

It is pointless, but you make countless wishes - on stars, on every candle you blow out, on flower petals, on pebbles thrown in the river. You wish to see him again. That he will be safe. And his brother. You hardly think of Kíli now, but his well-being is still in your hopes.

_Please don't leave me._   
  
****

It has been a long journey, but you have no reason to complain. Every step brings you closer, each one becoming a little shakier as you approach the mountain. It reminds you of when you nearly collapsed after hearing the news. Fíli keeps his promises; how could you have doubted him?

When you finally arrive, you have the overwhelming urge to run through the gates, run into his arms, and never leave them again.

But where is he? You frantically scan the crowd at the gate. You don’t notice the scale or majesty of your new home, you only want –

“Fíli!”

His smile brightens your world again. It was worth every treacherous mile to get here. Your arms wrap around his neck, he buries his face in yours. Then the longest kiss, stopping only to breathe. You forget how to breathe.

“You look even more beautiful than I remember.” Is he crying?

“Fíli, none of that,” but you have no place to speak. He seems different somehow. More vulnerable, yet stronger. He holds you tight to his body, but you yearn to be closer. You feel his heart beating through the layers of fineries that are so unlike Fíli. You wonder if the ordeal has changed him.

A slight tap on your shoulder interrupts the unbreakable embrace. “Kíli!” You hug him, relieved. “I’m glad you are alright.” You no longer dwell on that afternoon, not since they left. It feels like ages ago. A lifetime.

“Me too,” he smiles. “Welcome.” You missed him too, there is no harm in that. He nods at his brother and slips away into the crowd of travelers.

He seems different as well, but how? You do not know him like you do Fíli.

“What happened to him?” You ask, knowing Fíli will understand.

“He had to grow up. We both did.”

“You must tell me everything.”

“Let us be alone, someplace quiet.”  
  
He leads you to his room, large and splendid quarters fit for royalty. Of course it would be. You keep forgetting.

“I will show you around, once you are rested. Though, it will take days to see every corner of this place. It is our home now.”

Our home. It did not feel like home yet, but Fíli is here. It must be home. “We have all the time in the world to. But aren’t you needed? Being a prince and all.”

“Only here. With you,” he moves toward you with longing in his eyes “My dear, I fought for you. I survived to see you again. I fought for _us_.”

Love really is stronger than duty and obligations and everything else. Your heart skips.

“Whenever the thought crossed my mind, I could not…here,” you pull out the stack of letters from your bag, “to read when you have a chance.”

Fíli flips through them, getting caught on particularly touching lines. “I will cherish every word. I wish I had them on the road. All I had to recall you by was the memory of your touch.” His hand runs through your hair. You tremble at the anticipation of possessing him once again.

“I did not think I would last another day without you.”  
  
“We will never be apart again,” his forehead is on yours, the tips of your noses meet. “Be mine. Forever.”

“Of course.” Then it slowly dawns on you what he is asking. “Wait…Fíli, are you-”

“I am.”

“Oh! Yes, yes!” It is a good thing he is holding you, because you could float away.

“Are you sure?”

“Sure?! How can you ask me if I’m sure now after...why would I not be sure? I love you!”  
  
“Of what you are getting into.”

“What do you mean?”

“I have...responsibilities. Now, and always. One day, I will become a-”

“I don’t care what you are, as long as I’m with you!”

“Just making sure,” he lifts you up, twirling you, his whole presence alight from your declaration.

“Now don't make me wait another minute,” your lips crash into his. Patience is not one of your virtues.

“I wouldn't be able to,” he tries to answer, breathless.

You grab at his belt with one hand and untie the top of his shirt with the other. He has a large scar on his chest, a gouge, you cannot look at. Only focus on the future, not the past. And hope the only wounds were physical. Let him take you away, let him lose himself.

****

“Tell me everything?” Your eyelids are heavy. You struggle to keep them open, mindlessly running your fingertips across his chest. He left you drowsy and drunk with bliss.

Fíli tells you everything. Even what he should not recount. “I shouldn't have told you that. How close I came to-”

“Don’t say it. I don’t want to think it.”

“But I’m here now. Just as I promised. I’m here and I will always be here for you.”

“Oh, Fíli, I finally feel safe again.”

“From what?”

“From fear, from worry, from everything, really. Nothing can harm me as long as I am with you.”

He sighs and rests his head on yours. “I can say the same about you.”

“No, I cannot protect you! I’m only –”

“You do. You keep me tethered. You are everything to me."

You blush. “There has to be more to tell. Tales of your heroism that you are too humble to share, perhaps?”

“Kíli saved us all a few times, you know.”

“So I should thank him?”

****

Kíli has not only grown up, he has grown odd. Ever since the announcement, he avoids you, looks past you as if you are not there. His once playful demeanor is now one of bitterness.

You have done nothing to warrant such coldness, and you are tired of it. You decide to confront him one particular morning when he brushes past you in the corridors.

“Kíli!” You snap. You have not been alone with him since that afternoon by the river.

“Is it that difficult for you to be happy for me? For us?”

“I _am_ happy for you. I’m just not happy, myself,” he shrugs.

“You are so selfish, to act like a spoiled child who does not get his way!”

“What are you accusing me of? Envy? I am over you, in case you did not pick up on it. Long journeys have a tendency to do that.”

Did he or did he not? “Then why are you behaving like this?”

“Because I can.” His familiar, mocking tone breaks through. Teasing again, like old times.

“Well, I would like it to stop. For appearance’s sake, at least.”

Kíli shakes his head, “You hold my character in such low regard. You think me to be pining over my own brother’s soon-to-be wife? My sister in law? Disgraceful! I would be insulted if it came from anyone’s mouth but yours. If I did not congratulate you, it’s only because I have been busy. So I offer it now.”

He takes your hand in his and kisses it, never breaking his stare. “And I am very happy for my brother. He displayed such bravery on our quest, and is already proving himself invaluable to Thorin. He is extraordinary. And you deserve the best.”

He flashes you an enigmatic smile, almost sinister. Or is it your imagination? It does not matter - one less thing to worry about. Kíli will not be making a fool of himself over you again. You only need to own one heart. Anything more would be greedy.

****

“I have never been so exhausted in my entire life. See what you do to me?” Fíli curls up beside you, yawning.

“Me?! Was it not the all day wedding feast that tired you?”

“No, it’s you.”

“But you traveled for months across the-”

“It’s you.”

You laugh, elbow him gently in the side. “You better get used to it. I plan to exhaust you every night.”

“Please have mercy on me!” He pretends to beg.  
  
”Do not fret, I will treat you well,” you twirl his braid in your fingers.

“And how is our union treating you thus far?”

“My only qualm, so far, mind you, is the ridiculous title of princess.”

“You don’t have to use it,” he assures you. “But don’t let Kíli know you hate it, or he will have a new nickname for you.”

You change the subject. “When you heard tales of true love and finding your one...did you ever think it would be like this? Like us?”

“My dear, We redefine love, the very notion of it. There is none greater than ours in all the world.”

“You know I dislike exaggeration,” you frown.

“I mean it.”

“Fíli, this has been the happiest day of my life. Also not an exaggeration.”

“Ah, but what about tomorrow? And the next day? And the next?”

“They will be just as wonderful!” The worst is behind you. What lies ahead is love. Happiness. Forever.

“Each day will be greater than the last,” he adds, and you take his word.

“The whole day? Including mornings, which I know you are not fond of?”

“Waking up beside you every morning, I cannot think of anything better.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is such mush, but I'm just setting everything up for the most angstiest ending(s) imaginable.


End file.
